Duw It's Hard

Ahh happy times. Courtesy of Dave (sorry Dave I nicked it, hope you didn't mind) I have given you a small glimpse of my weekend; this pic inparticular is from Dale's and Clare's engagement party, last Saturday. It was a real good bash, complete with a fantastic buffet (vital element as always), a good crowd and some rocking tunes. Congrats to you both! In more ways than one! On Sunday our Argos Cardiff Bay team took up the challenge of Argos Newport Road and acheived a well-deserved victory of 4 goals to 3. It was the Dean show as our resident goal machine and QVR's current top scorer hit all the goals to ensure Newport Road's footballing debut ended in defeat. A game fraught with controversy, as NR were offside many-a-time exposing CB's sometimes shaky defence and their first goal was clearly illegal. Without a referee we had to resort to negotiation between the two sides to solve any disputes and that clearly caused problems in situations such as these. But on the bright side, as honourary gaffer, I led my team to victory and we will go into the second leg with a 4-3 aggregate scoreline. Not only that, we all went to the pub afterwards! Result!

I guess I havent posted for a while and for that I do apologise. I have a full time job looking for a full time job, what can I say? I type this post on a Mozilla Firefox tab page which is surrounded by other more important tabs, each a prospective job application ranging from the good ole' WAG (Rhodri and Co.) and the University of Wales in Newport. And of course, despite being singled out as the obvious odd tab the webhead's trusty sidekick and companion - Facebook. But to think I'd still be doing this when St. Davids Day draws near really does fill me up with mixed emotions. Yes folks, this 'job' can take it out of you emotionally. And here's why:

Anger - "F**king hell!!! Why can't I get a job!?! I went to university for Christ's sake! What a f**king waste of money! Experience? How the f**k can I get experience when I've just left uni?!?!"

Sadness and self pity - "Another rejection? That's it, I can't do this anymore - no-one will ever want me so I just give up. Maybe I should just work in a corner shop or something"

Fear - "What if they think I suck? What if I get to an interview and screw it up by freezing on the spot or something. What if I'm still doing this and working in Argos until I'm thirty!?"

Frustration - "I don't want to sit on this sofa anymore and look at job websites, I gotta get out there and do something - make myself presentable, make them want me..."

And believe me, theres more where that came from. But the skinny here is that I'm beginning to lose faith in the job market. More and more the old saying of "It isn't what you know it's who you know" feels like the motto of how to go about getting employed. I mean who I am kidding in thinking otherwise? My job in the Big A was given to me because my mum's friend knew a manager at the time and I remember the first thing that very manager said to me when I went for my interview:

"I've heard some very good things about you, how you are a very nice boy!"

It is then you feel like a parlour trick and your new master is going to pat you on your head, whilst the 'patter' is doing a favour to her mate. This is not to discredit my work in Argos - I worked hard to get where I am and I did it on my own, took my chances and rode my luck a little bit too. But I guess what the point I'm getting at, which was also pointed out to me by Mike in work, was that sometimes to get that foot in the door, an inside contact can give you that edge over someone else. I would certainly love for someone to tell me otherwise. One thing for sure - Duw, it's hard.